Feeling Low About Baby No2

Back In school did anyone new ever join, they came to your class and joined your ‘group/squad/gang/girlies’ and suddenly the dynamics changed, you felt a little pushed out because your best friend of the group took more of an interest in the new person (yet you was probably doing the same and your bestie was possibly feeling low too.), they wanted to know everything about them, spent a little extra time with them and what felt like a ton of less time with you. You’d get upset because you felt like your best friend was being stolen, you felt jealous because attention was divided.

I guess this is how i’m feeling about the imminent arrival of our 2nd baby. For the last (nearly) 3 years, I have been a stay at home mother to Aella, 5 out of 7 days it has just been me and her, she is my best friend, my little mini me, my absolute world and I can’t imagine life without her. In less than 3 weeks i’m due to give birth and life as ‘Mummy and Aella’ isn’t going to be anymore, it will be ‘Mummy, Aella and Baby’. Of course this is an extremely happy time for us all and we are all very excited for our new addition but there is a small part of me feeling sad because everything is about the change. I will have to involve another little person, my lunch dates with Aella will include another person, our cuddles on the sofa, our days making cake and painting, our silly little games, they will all have to be shared and I guess that makes me a little sad.

I think it gets more confusing because not only am I feeling all the above, but i’m feeling extremely excited! I can’t wait for our new arrival and all the new adventures we will go on, I can’t wait to see Aella’s face when she gets to meet her little sister for the first time and then having the pleasure of watching a beautiful relationship blossom between them. Aella tells me daily how much she loves her baby sister and wraps her arms around the bump and kisses it, she tells me how she is going to share all her toys and help me change baby’s nappy. I know Aella is going to be amazing as a big sister, it’s just going to take some time to adjust as a family of 4 and settle into a new routine.

 

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